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Daily Haiku: June 2005

Abscond

it’s my condition
that forces me to abscond
with your hosiery

Lineament

in grandpa’s backyard
we could see lineaments
of his victims’ bones

Woebegone

Trent Reznor lies down
woebegone at the mere thought
of selling millions

Callow

Juilliard’s top grad
was surprisingly callow:
“What’s a ‘casting couch’?”

Commination

she dislikes my shoes
her commination consists
of sweatshop photos

Voluble

though quite voluble
Charles Manson is not the best
commencement speaker

Ineluctable

ineluctably
he would wake at 5 AM
covered in winged ants

Irascible

Aerosmith’s neighbor
was one irascible guy
and soon they were dead

Exigent

brewery blowup
an exigent incident
requiring pretzels

Altercation

an altercation
in front of Planned Parenthood
defused by tickles

Naif

the cheerful naif
provided his home address
to Elder Warren

Antiquarian

though unpopular
among antiquarians
garbage men prevail

Peradventure

the best emo band
beyond all peradventure
is The Pinky Swear

Blandishment

a vain ice cream man
responsive to blandishments
crystal meth discount

Ingenuous

“Lawrence Welk” reruns
inspire ingenuous awe
at the nursing home

Durance

durance was required
to keep Beloved fans out
of Oprah’s dumpster

Glutinous

pudding disaster
a glutinous mess amidst
quivering entrails

Betimes

he died in daylight
yet his ghost is seen betimes
wearing pajamas

Countenance

he had great patience
but he could not countenance
Jerry Bruckheimer

Agglomeration

the thrifty mothers
agglomerated quickly
as diapers rained down

Tumid

that gentleman’s head
tumid from a spider bite
blocked my view of C.H.U.D.

Fetter

a lost Lucifer
a fettered cartographer
an infernal map