Dear Frances Bean Cobain,
First of all, it was lovely having lunch with you, even if you did get a bit confrontational at the end there. I’m glad I woke up before I could rebut, because a cooler head has shown me that your assessment of my taste in music, if incomplete, was remarkably astute. Dark themes, deceptively simple songwriting, played loosely but with discipline. You kind of nailed it. And even if you didn’t, you could hardly be blamed for being defensive. He’s your dad, after all, and you don’t have to listen to some random guy’s jaded dismissal of a seemingly superfluous tribute to him (although I hope we can agree that a London bake-off explicitly honoring the 18½th anniversary of his death is arbitrary and weird).
Anyway, it’s probably best that our conversation ended when it did. There was a cheesesteak literally burning a hole in my pocket, and I think Mary Tyler Moore was getting bored of our company. And hey, why do you suppose she was so insistent on borrowing only the second disc of my Strangers with Candy DVD set? I’m just imagining her chain smoking in a dark room, watching the same episode over and over again, and ignoring yet another answering machine message from Dick Van Dyke. I hope she returns the DVD soon. I’m not a fan of that show at all, but I can’t stand the idea of an incomplete set.